Subject: TAN:  "Hotel California"--My apologies to the Eagles
From: mloy@iupui.edu (Mark Loy)
Organization: Indiana University - Purdue University Indianapolis,IN
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan

NNTP-Posting-Host: 134.68.134.43

Onna dark Indy highway
Cold wind in my hair
Warm smell of coitus
Rising up in the air

Up ahead in the distance
I saw some Chrismasy lights
My head grew heavy and my plight grew grim
I had found the darksight

There they stood in the doorway
As I rang the frontdoor bell
And I was thinking to myself 
They could be from heaven or they could be from Hell
Their faces lit up like a candle
And they showed me the way
There were voices in the other room
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place

Plenty of room at the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

At this time of year
You can find it here

Their minds are epiphany twisted
They've got merciless grins
They've got a lot of pretty, pretty toys
They call "darkfriends"
How they flirt, makes my dick hard
Sweet winter chocolate
Some hope to remember
Some hope to forget

Someone called out the caption
Please drink the dark beer
They said they'd do their very best
But Monahan wasn't here
And still those voices are calling from on the floor
"Bring the cornstarch here, McCarthy, and rub my back some more!"

Welcom to the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

Such a lovely place, sucha fuckin' disgrace

They're livin' it up at the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

What a nice surprise, Deb's still with that guy...

Mirror ball descending
Cheap Champaign on ice, And they said
We are all just witnesses here
Of the millenial sacrifice
And in the Master's lounge chair
Laps gathered for the trist
They stab out with their flicking tongues
But they still can't lick the humblest

Last thing I remember
I was at the bathroom door
I had to get the scandawoogie back
To the place he was before
"Relax," said my darkfriend
"His pants are down round his knees,
I'll pull them up any time you like
But I won't wipe his pee-pee!"

Welcome to the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place

Plenty of room of the Hotel CaLoyfornicate

For this special time of year
Loy2K full of cheer!




Well, obviously I'm back.

Our mini-vacation to the Grand Cayman's was...Incredible, to say the
least.  But with that and starting back to school and all the "residue"
from the party and all the great houseguests and all that went on during
the holidays well, to put it bluntly, I be rather fuckin' bushed.

I haven't even had the energy to read the social reports let alone comment.

But I will. 

To each and every one of you who was there, thank you for making the party
a wonderful success.  I enjoyed seeing old friends again and meeting those
that I hadn't yet met.  What a great way to end/begin the millenium.

To those of you who couldn't be with us, you were missed.

Hopefully you'll be there at the next national/international DFS.

I look forward to it.
  






Sincerely,
Mark

P.S.  Sorry, Roy.  Please don't hate me.  You are always welcome in my
home.  But damn it, my friend...that was fuckin' hysterical.