Subject: Reporting, AIGAP From: Zeynep Dilli / 'Morwen' Organization: University of Maryland College Park Reply-To: dilli@wam.umd.edu Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan NNTP-Posting-Host: rac5.wam.umd.edu *** Abstract This review work is a compilation of observations and impressions of the author after her initial attempt at contributing to a Darkfriend gathering in Toledo, OH, in the holy shrine of the group that is named Chez Moo, between 03.30.2001 and 04.01.2001. Experimental procedure is outlined and selected results are presented. Keywords: Wind, Darkfriends, Chez Moo, Kotobuki, shoulder rubs, margarita, tofu, anime, mead, COSI, quotes, "Wicked". *** Introduction ...a wind rose over the Atlantic Ocean. The wind was not the beginning. That had come when I'd picked up the Dragon Reborn, lo so many years ago. But it was _a_ beginning. The wind blew inland and touched me at my workstation in College Park, UMD campus, just in time for me to perk up reading Ray Chason's answer to Maggie's invitation--"I have room for two or three more from the Baltimore-Washington area". The weave of the moment was set. The Horn had been blown, and I had to follow. I followed. *** Experimental Procedure Ray collected me from College Park around 7:30 am and stepped on it--figuratively speaking, he's one of the most cautious and solid drivers I've ever had a ride with--and we were at Laura's place in Cumberland, Maryland, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Misty adventures on the slopes of Philadelphian mountains followed. At one point, the fog elicited the comment "this isn't fog, this is bubble of evil material." But no mishaps and only one major weirdness (see Results section) later, we were pulling in Maggie's parking lot. We parked, walked to the front door. No doorbells. There is a basement-level window open next to the door, and through it a black cat with very, very green eyes is intently watching us. I remembered, from previous social reports, that it would be a basement apartment and that it contained cats, so I attempted, through mental and verbal suggestion, to convince the cat to go call his mistress to the window. Cat didn't budge. There were children's toys visible; coupled with the cat and the basement location, it was very likely that this was the correct apartment. Taking a deep breath, me and Laura strayed two steps from the concrete path to look deeper into the apartment. And I found myself looking directly at The Humblest. Tremulously, I displayed Ray's Dragon's Fang. He made a hand motion. I thought he meant "come in." I said, "The door is locked." He repeated the motion. This time I interpreted it correctly--around. "Ray, Laura, there is a back door." There was. Ten minutes and hugs and handshakes later, we were all settled in Chez Moo, to be finally formally introduced to JSNIII, Kenn Cavness, and Anne Willick. Conversation opened with the obligatory newsgroup remarks and gossip, during the duration of which Pam Korda, Darryl Sheakley and Steve Ginter arrived; nice rants were reminisced upon, September was looked back on with contempt (to my horror, I discovered that September was the year when I made initial connection, the shame), some people were advised to chill out--shame they weren't there. Novak advertised flunky story. Steve brought mead, which drew appreciative glances. Mark, Maggie's "spousal unit" appeared. Kids ran around, were ordered to tidy their room, ran around, were ordered to.... you get the idea. Maggie resisted all attempts at helping her out in the kitchen. Considering what the food was like when it was ready, she apparently didn't need it. I'm afraid she is looking at a bleak future of attempts from me to pry recipes out of her. Yum. Somewhere in that conversation, it was established that Novak had never seen Iron Chef. It was agreed upon by consensus that he should--not that we all didn't want to see it anyway. It wasn't yet time for Steve to go pick up Leah from the airport, so we settled around the TV. I sensed a presence behind me, and twisted around to see Steve hovering there with hands twisted into claws. He either intended to kill me summarily, or perform the other obvious alternative. I didn't have far to go even if I ran, so I submitted to my fate. My shoulders hadn't felt that good in months. Steve Gaidin knows what he's doing with those, to borrow and modify a phrase from Darryl, +10 hands. Thank you, Steve. Darryl's artwork was passed around and admired. His drawing of Loial needs to be reproduced on a piece of sheet steel with laser engraving, and then used to beat D.K.Sweet over the head with. The Iron Chef battle was, of all things, on tofu, which spawned all kinds of wisecracks. Steve went to pick up Leah with Maggie and Kenn. Leah's plane had been delayed several times. Half an hour or so after they left, the phone rang. We glanced, Novak said someone should pick it up, I picked it up. Call from payphone. A tired female voice. "Are you Leah Cole?" Affirmative. "Steve, Maggie and Kenn left about half an hour ago to pick you up, so if you hang around the gate, I guess..." The four arrived, and Leah promptly demonstrated The Lap. That would spread. More conversation ensued and quotes were recorded. Saturday, we who crashed in the kids' room woke up to the sounds of kids playing with the laptop on the top bunk and the smell of coffee drifting in. Breakfast was wonderful. Snuggling on the coach/floor, cartoons were watched, as Anne left and reappeared with Jeff Huo. More conversation appeared. Novak talked about the flunky, and he didn't disappoint ("He paid _how much_ for a watch?"). As we were getting ready to invade COSI, Darryl left. COSI, the interactive-science museum in downtown Toledo, was several different kinds of fun--balance fun, wet fun, light fun, reflex fun, reaction fun, electrical fun. Darkfriends shot at each other's watergun streams. Novak demolished the world's climate ("Let's set the axis tilt to 90 degrees..."). Mark set up hurricanes. Some darkfriends repeatedly crashed into the 45-degree tilted walls in the warped-gravity house. Two hours of good clean fun later, the Green Squadron (our mode of transportation consisted of three cars following each other, all various shades of green) returned to Maggie's place to drop the kids and pick up Laura, who'd stayed home. Maggie's teenage neighbours appeared to sit with the kids and Green Squadron was deployed once more. Kotobuki is a small restaurant with very prompt service and good food. I had never thought I'd eat octopus, but having ordered mixed sushi, I lived with my decision. Me--> Choke, gasp, attack the water glass-- Mark --> "I see she's discovered the wasabi." After the ginger ice-cream (mmmmm), we piled back into the cars. A contingent split in search of shakes. We converged back on Maggie's place, margaritas were mixed and Laura's anime tapes were popped in. They were Wicked. I sort of missed the ending of the last one, though, because Novak's shoulder was too comfortable and I was tired... Next morning, I woke up as the last person, Darryl having left; first I thought the conversation drifting to my (sleepy) ears was something on the television. Novak's and Jeff Huo's voices were very... profound, I guess. I staggered to the living room into the midst of a discussion about AIDS research. It was, like most of the scattered conversations over the weekend about almost everything under the sun, interesting and informative. Maggie's Creme Brulee French Toast was........ Maggie, recipe? :-) Alas, things might not have beginnings but some of them do have an end, and facing a 10 hour drive back, the Marylanders had to start back soon after... We followed a different route back, and it was sometimes heavy rain instead of fog this time, but everyone returned safely. *** Experimental Results Note about the data extraction procedure: Since I was there before the Keeper of the Chronicles, I started taking notes in her stead. When she arrived, it was decided that I should continue also, for better coverage. Some of the data points were obtained by using the "shamelessly take out of context" technique. * About how "Novak" is pronounced: "I don't care if he says it's pronounced 'Sarah', I am not going to argue." -- Laura * The sign on an auto body shop somewhere in PA: Picasso Auto Body (the implications about mental images are left as an exercise to the reader) * - Kenn: I didn't drop that glass! I set it down... - Novak: ...in midair... * About being "Mormonized": "...I'd just got up, hair all over the place, scruffly beard, t-shirt, shorts; look through the peephole, cute women! Open the door---_oh, shit_." -- Novak * About Maggie's kids running around and around chasing each other: - Zeynep: It's like having cats, only taller. - Novak: Cats with opposable thumbs? * "Don't invoke the children." -- Novak * "Food never looks quite as good coming out of your mouth as it does going in." -- Kenn * "The History Channel--or should I say, the war, femine and pestilence channel." -- Ray * "I find random strangers' laps the most interesting..." -- Leah * About what "compassionate conservationism" is: "We kicked your ass in gentleness." -- Jeff * "I think M&M is kicking Lego's ass." -- Pam * Reading Leah's quote book: "I didn't say that." -- Kenn * In a "Sixth Sense" voice: "I see dumb people..." -- Novak * "Kill You". -- Embroidery behind a bad guy's robe in DragonBallZ * "Wicked" -- The Japanese character embroidered behind a good guy's robe in Kimshin * Seeing a very bright yellow house: - Kenn: Somebody needs to get in line with the rest of the block... - Anne: Yes. Drab, dammit, drab! * "[Steve] licked my glasses!" -- Maggie * "Fractal Entymology: The fine art of pulling words out of your ass." -- Steve * "Don't think of that as lynching, think of it as sense beaten into you with vigour." -- Jeff * After "contacting" wasabi: "Can I have some more of that soy sauce? Like, half a liter?" -- Zeynep * "There are certain things you don't do with baseball bats!" -- Jeff * "You have remarkably low taste in gods." -- Jeff * "Do you bite my ass?" "No, sire, but I do bite somebody's ass." -- Novak * "Oh, no, not the Booger Flick of Doom!" -- Novak * About asexual reproduction, Kenn to Jeff: "I don't want to see you split in half, OK?" * Watching a character get a beating in the anime movie: "You fool, use up-down-up-down-A-B-Start!" -- Jeff * Laura: There's something to be said about DragonballZ... Mark: ...yes, it makes no sense! * "We've got to start a commune." -- Maggie *** Conclusions Darkfriends are wonderful people. Other Darkfriends were with us in spirit, and, extrapolating from what I've seen, I'm going to assume the wonders haven't ceased yet. I should make a positive effort to attend future socials. In fact, it being conclusively proven to me that an apartment social is feasible, I'm beginning to Get Ideas--I have an apartment. Only, I can't cook worth beans next to Maggie. That might be a problem... *** Acknowledgements I owe thanks to a lot of people. To Maggie and Mark, for opening their home to us. To Maggie, again, for getting it all rolling, and for being the focal point for all those wonderful people. To Ray Chason, for making it possible for me to attend. To all the Darkfriends in attendance for the laughs, the conversations, the wittiness, the sharing-of-experiences, the backrubs and the fun in general... -- :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) Zeynep Dilli "All You Need Is Love" -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK----- GE/MU/S/L d--(+) s: a22 C++ US+ P L+>++ E---- W++>$ N++ K? w>-- !O M- V? 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