From: jeff@starfall.com.nospam (Jeff Huo) Subject: TAN/DFS Report: A Michigan Wolverine in the Windy City Date: 06 Mar 2000 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: X-Trace: news.itd.umich.edu 952351397 207.75.176.20 (Mon, 06 Mar 2000 09:03:17 EST) Organization: Denizens of the Wolverine White Coat Ghetto NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 06 Mar 2000 09:03:17 EST Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan "Come on --baby don't you want to go / Oh come on --baby don't you want to go/ Back to the same old place --Sweet Home, Chicago!!" Chicago --City of the Big Shoulders, headquarters of the American Medical Association, and my favorite city on Earth. So when med business brought me to the City of Midwestern Darkfriends I tossed out a note onto the group and before I knew it this DarkFriend Social (DFS) virgin was on his way to being deflowered in style... Saturday morning Kenn, Maggie and Steve contacted me by ICQ and arranged an early meet in advance of the main social (their hijinks I'm sure will be in another report --ask them about the soup!), ran to lab to polish off a few last minute procedures, and hoofed down to the local Amtrak to catch the train on in to Chi-town's Union Station. Taxied up to my brother Eugene's place at Northwestern Med, stashed my stuff, peeked into Ghirardelli's in case the Darkfriends were still there, then pulled into FAO Schwartz on the dot at 4PM. Circuited the main floor (FAO has the _coolest_ stuffed animals on Earth!), went up the escalator, turned the corner, and cashing out at the Barbie counter was a _very_ familiar looking Aes Sedai with long dark hair and glasses.... "Maggie?" "Jeff?" <*big big hug*> Maggie Brazeau was picking up a FAO Schwartz Barbie [1] for her sister, and with that completed we rounded the corner to the Star Wars toy section and quickly ran into the dapperly suited Steve Ginter --but no Kenneth Cavness. Proceeded to round the rest of the store looking for him ("You think Kenn went all the way down?") and eventually Steve found Kenn, newly purchased huge long rod in tow, and brought him outside where Maggie and I were waiting. [Kenn bought a large, rolled up world map. Minds out of the gutter, folks! ;-) ] Hailed a taxi and headed up to Pizza Capri. Sundry conversations about the insanity of Michigan drivers, the difficulty of finding fine spices in downtown Chicago and the obligatory double entendes, with Kenn whacking various people with his big stick and Maggie ending up at one point with a five-dollar-bill clenched between her teeth. We pulled into Pizza Capri about 4:30ish, asked for a reservation under Korda or Novak, they didn't find one but wisely decided to seat us right away in a nice corner away from the other patrons. Alchohol and appetizers were ordered, and we settled in a quite amusing series of random conversation topics awaiting the other Darkfriends who were not due for another hour. Kenn shared a quite stunning Port [2], we attempted to float a dime on Steve's Guiness and Maggie showed off the Pooh Bag o' Death, and soon the graceful Pam Korda and the equally dapperly suited, goatee- less Mike Kozlowski appeared. Finally, John Novak arrived ("I felt a Shadow --oh, John's here...") and our circle of Seven was complete...[3] Now, for the obligatory DFS virgin comments; the Darkfriends and their voices were pretty much as I had pictured them, all an extrodinarly friendly and warm bunch, except for Novak, which I am obliged to say is as impressive a Bad-Ass in person as he is by reputation. [4] ("Who the hell are you?" "A pleasure to meet you too, John.") Heeding the warnings against ordering the large sized entrees (except for Steve, for which the lasanga came only in one size) we ordered food and dove into the conversation --European history, sweeps week hijinks, Novak's new job, political commentators ("I was always hoping that Michael Kingsley and Pat Buhcanan would one day just settle it once and for all --you know draw Scottish Claymores and scream 'There Can Be Only One!') the relative salaries of Darkfriends ("Shut up, stock-option boy..."..."I'm just a poor Grad Student." "Well, at least you're not _paying_ to work..."), more sexual references. Kenn took an inordinate interest in far northern locations shown on the exposed portions of his massive world map ("Point Resolute --I want to go there sometime before I die." "Why not go to the South Pole --you can go further south on land." "Why not head West --you can go even farther..."..."Kalmuchunk. Nova Zemla. I like those names." "Alright, Kenn, next birthday we buy you an Atlas...") Food arrived in it's anticipated huge portions (Steve's Lasanga was impressively large --"If you want a definition of nonplussed, you just need look at Steve's Face") and a sniff-test eurupted over the identity of Novak's soda (the panelists conlcuded he had been mistakenly served a Diet Coke). Eventually the dinner wound up ("It's time for Dessert!" [no pnts]) and we strolled on over to Stars our Destination. Would you believe they actually have Sandman action figurines now? [5] This and other things --a brief discussion of the sheer suckage of Piers Anthony, the discovery that the major SF awards are a pet peeve of the nice book lady Alice (IIRC, it was Steve who had to flee her violent rant), various authors of all kinds. Another hapless Darkfriend, cornered by vicious junkies and pushers, began a Bujold addiction [6], Kenn on an impluse buy purchaced one of those huge expanding/collapsing spheres, Novak picked up an Internet Tarot Deck ("I've got five books on Tarot." "Well, did you own a deck?") and we hiked on over to Kenn's place, with it's fantastic security ( "Doesn't your place have a key lock?" "Yep, it's just not necessary to use the key.") Since the last DFS there, Kenn has acquired an impressive set of furniture and painted the walls a nice consistent dark shade of red. Maggie set about firing up a new table candle lamp ("Watch those eyebrows!"..."Hey, is the flame supposed to be that tall?" "Kenn, do you have marshmellows?") and the rest of us settled in around her for more conversation --Novak explaining why metal in microwaves arcs, a discussion of the relative suckage of Usenet feeds on many ISPs and the rudeness of neighboors ("It was great - -we had the fusebox for the entire complex in our basement. When the neighbors got too loud..."..."We had a really annoying neighbor --in addition to everything else, she used to try to sell us perfumes and stuff." "So an Avon Lady?" "She wasn't an Avon Lady--she was a crack whore!"), the dearth of intelligent posters from Australia and AOL ("Well, I know I'm going to get flamed for saying this, but you have [power deleted]'s credit he's pretty persistent." "Yeah, but so is Jock Itch...") and dating prospects for the noveau rich in Belmont ("So I should set out and go acquire myself a trophy fag?" "You mean, Who Wants to Marry a Gay Multi- Millionare?"). People were inordinately amused by Kenn's collapsing sphere. Pictures were taken, stories told, of how Steve once lost his eyebrows ("Now, our TA told us we couldn't melt Pyrex...") and of Novak's TAing days ("Do you think your students were really trying to kill you?") and many others. Eventually, much to my regret, the time came all to soon for me to take my leave (I had an appointment to meet a friend at 11:30 PM). Sincere thanks to Kenn for having the DarkFriends again, Pam and John for setting up the details on the ground, and everyone else for making this newbie virgin feel extordinarly welcome at his first DFS --it was a blast! -Jeff [1] ...yeah, sure, fess up Maggie, it was for you, wasn't it? No need to be ashamed... :-) [2] ...or so Steve and Maggie concurred (as I have the alchohol tolerance as a sheet of toilet paper)...dang expensive thimble of liquid, I'd think... [3] ...as someone pointed out later, one for each Mortal Sin...I'm not sure which one I am, but I'm pretty sure it's not Lust... [4] ...actually, Novak in person is also a really friendly and engaging guy. (ducks for cover) His voice wasn't quite as deep as I had thought, though-I was thinking Charleton Heston as Moses or James Earl Jones as Darth Vader. [5] ...not of the Endless, at least the set they had there; mostly of the other characters --Cain, Abel, Jack Pumpkinhead, and the like. [6] ...but not me! You'll never take me alive! Muahahaha!!!! -- Jeff Huo | jeff@starfall.com.nospam (remove nospam) U. Michigan Med | http://www.starfall.com/~jeff New to the group? Welcome! Please read http://www.landfield.com/faqs/sf/robert-jordan-faq/ http://www.starfall.com/~jeff/rasfwrjians2.html